Its like a Cycle of endless lessons..

NOPE. not gonna explain my din`t blog 4longtime!!

Towards the ending credits I remembered having a big group hug with my family and friends as the A-Bomb struck the mountains.. and I happily said “Goodbye” with tears of joy knowing the world… my world is ending as I wept my tears of joy !!!

NOOO, that wont happen !

I am writing today knowing that I cant hold on the urge to shut up anymore, no its not a rant !
I remembered reading a “meme” saying that you`re not searching for yourself, in fact you`r actually creating yourself. That Made so much sense, every decision I`ve made thus far was an active selection on my own will . It was natural, I am responsible to my behaviors ! period !

What have you made of yourself till this day , can you look at yourself in the mirror and digest “you” ??

Today I`ve learned the meaning of time and time wait for no man and has no price tag to it… how could i ever chase it

Why you ask,. Over the course of learning to understand how people function I have bumped in to a lot of dark secrets.. of others. I assumed I knew them – but my predictions of their “secrets ” is  rendered NULL !!!!!! Its a @%%$ “wildcard” !! This changes everything !!!

Dont even get me started with people letting you into their lives… ! Obviously their 6th sense is just a “randomly” triggered skill which raises the flag every time. Like server alerts which over heats by 0.007 C ( even that is quantitative )

Keeping to my own is just too mainstream, at times am totally turned off by people who do not challenge or even think of defying the normal lives we all run.

If you`re reading this today.. go against something today.. just be sure to follow humane rules..all others rules are optional…even religion.


1 for revision… i need to learn from these lessons again !


Child indoctrination

Ok i tried looking for  a random angst googled picture to put here and ANGST just got angst … thats all right

there`s is so much anger going around these days .. within us, but why..let me try to dismantle your head and figure out a solution.. please leave me alone if it doesnt work.. you`ll know what i mean by the end of this post about leaving me alone 🙂


We all function on a simple rule since we were kids…child indoctrination its called whereby our parents the sole survival of our attitude and aptitude towards LIFE !!!

what does that mean… ??


Its means we`ve developed a habit of what we like , dislike, distaste , hate and believe (religiously) It means we were given no choice to choose… more like a forced fed duck

Child indoctrination isn’t  a big deal, provided your parents aren’t a bunch of fanatic on any case.. let it be on ” how they want their eggs” to (insert religion here) way of life.

You see from the day you were born right up to today… your very idea and thoughts were once controlled by your PARENTS !!!!  ahahah

But these days with so much of media and internet influence we tend to grow out of our selves and begin to see things on our own perspective…

The whole point of this is to say …. when you see someone misbehaving and you come to say ” Thats rather sad, i know their parents and they are very nice”..

well news to you pal… they sucked in parenting, period

1 for my ramblings… gosh i need to kick-start my brain !!!

Random act of (anything)

Have you wanted to break free and just do whatever you feel like doin. Now to reverse the roles here; I want you guys to look at things from a completely dark point of view.

Take for instance my step dad(I wish); Darth Vader . He was not bad at all he was just following his drug ( the dark side la) apparently you gain instant orgasm upon embracing it.. But he was a genuine baddie or was he ??? You see he just simply killed idiots at will for their stupidity. I don’t know; having the power to create random people to combust at will sounds evil…. Ahhaha but funny if it s a movie tho 😛

What am really attempting to deliver here It to stop catering to your evil deeds and actually turn on you fucking rational thinking. Like what Gandhi did… I mean this of peaceful thought and not bad stuffs.. Make love not war..


1 for my mentor.

Alone time

Have you ever been alone? Whereby there is no point of human contact or in some cases pets around you. You are just stuck there with yourself and your mind, thats when it becomes a playground! You need not be idle but open yourself to explore your inner thoughts on how you exactly feel about the current context thats within the sea of your thoughts . For instance do you really know what you really like to eat or your actual favourite colour? No one likes to be alone, they’d always wanna be associated with something or someone. But being alone helps in ways you’l never imagine possible it opens up the unexplored side of ‘you’ ! Don’t be afraid to know that your not that awesome, that your not that brave …that your not that innocent. It’s dark alley right behind your head that you should visit at times. Its more like a status check on your head of what really is on your mind that very moment. Most succesful folks h’ve come across made it big in life and attitude constrain by have alone time to reflect their current state of well being. In short give sometime alone and see how far the rabbit hole in you heads goes. Turn off your radio, dress down, get something to eat and switch off your cell and computer. Sit down anywhere comfortable and start asking questions you wants answers to. Unshackle that rational thinkin you have just tad bit and think for yourself just this once…and you’l know that maybe it’s about time you took care of yourself. My best friend passed away recently i wish i could have one more chat and a big hug from him. But he’s at a better place now. He was my dad. None for this empty feeling i have now. I miss you dad.


It’s an odd topic to speak of but this subject would have triggered you to think of where we live in .. Malaysia… as in Malay Chinese and Indian…. but no…. the color on this subject is derived from the context of “True Color”

It’s often a wide spread lie when some 1 gives you a hand shake (firm one) and say “nice to meet you”.

They give you this poised look and a confident posture – more so like a basalt monolith ….

But are they really what they seem to be .. ? what is this intriguing feeling you have which tells you that this person might be of some sort something else….. are they ugly….are they mean… or are they just simply ashamed of themselves or maybe too proud – you`d say… ?

What is this guard they have in front of them that disallows you to peek through their “real” selves and how can i see through it ???

Well i saw things which i wished for when i was a lil kid… remember the saying “Never wish for something you don’t want to cuz it might just come true” ya i had that moment sometime this year.

To my surprise, some people really showed me what it feels like to be a best friend, a good liar, master of deception, selfish, self-centered, humble and a creep.

All these “tag” are people that i know of but the best mind fuck i got was while i was home; it made me wanna leave my job here in KL and return to that Euphoria. In case you are confused that “mind fuck” made me realise so much things and it was good one. [ not all mind fucks are meant to be bad]

1 for colors;  for i saw a few beautiful ones….

S is for Seriousness

Folks, todays topic is about being serious….

Have you stopped to pay attention to what that actually means, Im sorry am not able to come up with a universal explanation to hit the correct pockets of people whom are in search of “being serious” about anything for this matter ( i usually pull through seamlessly )

So am just gonna have a basic surface view of this thing called “Seriousness”

Its things we do out of our will which we aren’t accustom to…

Think of all the goals and “should dos” that you have not been doing…. just apply some seriousness in it and you`ll be tad much closer to have it in you… Seriousness that is

anything else you guys wanna add ???

1 for being serious….

Lets call it, my “problems”

Did you know to be completely honest no 1 gives a damn about your problems…they have their own.

I know i can sense a lot of nodding even now, i hate to break it to you kid but seriously the “bark elsewhere” phase kept playing in the loop at the back of mehead…

WOooo WWoooooffff……. !!

1 for “i dun give a shit” cards, i have enuff of them

Draft you say ?

All said and done, I think some people are as sour as sour can be, geez talk about grudges..

Anyways..its that time of the year again, i never knew`d that the cycle of life would actually hit me at this rate.

Im am now busy drafting .. maybe i`ll see you guys soon 😀

1 for revamps

Why am i on the boat again ?


After fooling around for a while i come to realize that am completely lost yet again. Im lost in direction, im in lost in friendship, im in lost in my own world – i dont know who i am anymore… lost

My explanations on getting my words across with my flawless innuendos seem to fail me now – its labeled contradictions….

when i listen to myself talking it sounds fine 2 me( now that is not fine when others see it the other way around)

Its looks like the honeymoon year 2009 is ova.! as the days go by i find it difficult to fit to any1 these days.

Its as tho am slipping in to a solitary confinement like there is a sink hole within me. What…? could this be another malevolent awakening …???

Ohh this is gonna be a enjoyable & terrible ride i say (*yes its contradictive, i know, now you see what i mean ? )

I even spoke to my exgirlfriend yesterday –

she laid it plain “You`r just a confused chap” not shabby at all i would add – but wherelese would you go to understand yourself more than your ex- significant other?

Let see if she helps

1 for Karma recoils they are oh so inevitable

*the whole writeup is a mess

*these words are gonna come bitting my arse, thats fer sure alright ;/

My dad my HERO

I believe my journey has thought me lots of things, and i feel its almost about time for it to come to a full circle….

As i am writting this, i cant but contain the feelings that is seeping through me right now.
On how am i going to repair and rebuilt what was tarnished…my image.. do i even have one there… hahah makes me wonder !!!

The journey has thought me tht there is GOD…..

God i am ready ……..

I knew it was the day when I saw my dad taking a afternoon nap…. I`ve never seen him that exhausted…

I knew it was the day when my dad was sleeping the entire day…

I knew it was the day when i finally could beat him in arm wrestling….

I love you dad…..i really do

1 for the MAN that bought me to this wonderful world……my dad my hero !!!!