I believe my journey has thought me lots of things, and i feel its almost about time for it to come to a full circle….

As i am writting this, i cant but contain the feelings that is seeping through me right now.
On how am i going to repair and rebuilt what was tarnished…my image.. do i even have one there… hahah makes me wonder !!!

The journey has thought me tht there is GOD…..

God i am ready ……..

I knew it was the day when I saw my dad taking a afternoon nap…. I`ve never seen him that exhausted…

I knew it was the day when my dad was sleeping the entire day…

I knew it was the day when i finally could beat him in arm wrestling….

I love you dad…..i really do

1 for the MAN that bought me to this wonderful world……my dad my hero !!!!

When you have been alone and suddenly some 1 comes along your sight and you feel that im gonna go for her. What would you do to make sure you get it right this time. Here`s some advise

1. get noticed, dress up
2. be clean n decent, as in SHAVE.. LOL
3. Smile; just keep smiling like a moron
4. be a listener and try to make them talk. very simple just as how are they ; and para phase the same sentence and give an example

How are you ?
am OK.

Oh OK, like you need a coffee break or.. ?

keep hinting they will talk soon enough….

1 for luck, for all of us needs it

is rather hard when some1 has a mental note of who you were…

No matter how you might have changed or behaved somehow people seem to seek that shitty part of you; like a heat seeking missile ahahahha

I have been shot down, yet again..now why isnt it always the other reason ya — i wonder why.

( i need to start turning things insideout )

1 for my “we know la you.. !! always like that wan”

I had shits to say LOL. but its lame to have an emo post as an opener after so long hahahaha…

Recently I have been hunting around a lot of things in my life.. who isnt. but most of them are just around the corner, we just need to swallow our egos; NOT too much later its reflects a weakness. I want a better looking physique, i wanna a better looking smile ( now that i have a dental card eheheh ) and i want a relationship.. well at least to pass my time.

To those out there, listen to me on this . “You can never be all too sure that some1 is not gonna take advantage of us” <— this phase is not cool at all – your in a completely different frequency. Instead change it to " I wana take advantage of him/her" THAT my friend will in turn actually give you a different perspective all together and understand and think they way “they ” function…. Good luck

1 for the evil people that make us realize….

Today we talk about “A” which is for Acceptance. Do you know the heartache we all go through not knowing or be able to know and accept others choice in life…? Its hard infact its IMPOSSIBLE.. !!! ahahah

i stand here as a man as a boy as a person who is learning to accept the truth, the choice the reality and what it has to offer. Now mind you/me the word “learning to” because as far as you`d know it there are so many things that entangle us in this melodramic life.

Now what are these things that make us not accept the truth; well i have a few…

Like my ex-girlfriend, I was really goin full force on my “relationship”, all the way..in Hokkien they say it “Sai Lang” “Show hand”(all in like in poker) but things took a weird turn and it ended in a short but a rather very painful 4 year fluctuative love life. Why because there are just a few stuffs about her which am still not able to grasp ; i just cant nor can she…

Or for the fact that me being able to get back to some old crush; and start things all over again- well i just cant – to know that i will never be able to be in bed wit her again is just crap!!

I write today with great grief and despair knowing that i will never be able to accept what my friends, lovers, family have chosen but only to conform like a slave to the fate that lies to us all. Let us accept our lives and carve our path to success in life ; because for those who crave success they will know how its attained….

There are so many things, so take it from me ; as today it might be your word of the hour/day/week or maybe year….

Accept for what an individual chooses for he/she knows that they will bare the consequences. and all we can do is just…maybe just…tell them what is wrong and not tell them what is correct..because what may seem correct to us actually carries a huge amount of experience for us to know that -”that” something is wrong; where else they are in an oblivious world just beginning to take baby steps…

1 for for the tough part in life..

Recently i was at this place where people were sharing ONLY good thought of each other…

They were only saying good things about you and all they gave me back “What do you think of me? ” look…..oblivously.

Like i ONLY have nice things to say, well it gets rather complicated; the conversation is not really stereotypical; there was no balance between good and evil.. as in good and badass comments. I wanna be like a lil kid, you know act and behave “present” and voice out whatever that is genuine.

while i was there I felt sick to my stomach… it was pretentious .Is this what they do at churches or anywhere similar… ???

I know i said churches but i cant think of anything more relevant at this point of time…but no offense to you guys goin to churches alright..

Do you guys feel me ??

me to my Girl via SMS

“i cant think of any brilliant words to say today. Guess i love you does the trick”

after sending it i realized something; i was sleepy and instead of searching for her number i just typed it and sent the sms…….
you see my girl used to have a number which was similar to my older Mobile number and i always get confused to
the digits……. like EVERY TIME

ahahha

just as i was about to slip in slumber then it struck me … was it 336 or was it 366 … ??

OMG its 336 !!!!!!1

i realized that i had sent it to a WRONG number

The first thought on my head was – what if this sms was sent to a lonely person who is in dying need of love..

I felt really bad..

Initially , i wanted to call that number to personally apologize but the single thought of me wanting to know the persons gender haunted me……

just i just sent another message in return ..

“Sorry wrong number. So sorry “

and i went back to sleep.

but the reason i bought this up because last time i used to receive a lot of wrong numbered SMS-es..

There was this once a house wife sent me something between these lines..

“Yang t`lng tapau Toseh atau Oti Cnai. dik xnak kari, susu manis. Ok teng kiu “

Then i replied

“Saya Xyang kamu, saya xjual apa2 service. Sori tolong naik Lori “

Then the lady actually replied

“Jangan la yang, please….”

At this point i was dumbfounded and straight away called the old hag

Me : “Ello miss pls jangan sms saya, saya bukan u punya suami. You salah nombo”

She: “Eh mana i boleh silap nombo suami I ? “

Me : “You check 2 kali nanti you call dia balik, sorry” and i hung-up

to be honest the lady kept miss calling and smsing my number for a long time but i just had to ingnore her, besides don’t we all get this kinda crap EVERY TIME when we step into a Government Building ???

We just live by it; keeps us at the top of the game, or at least reminds us we aren’t in the bottom of it …..

1 for dumb fucks, hahahah they crack me up

“When i find myself in times of trouble,

Mother Mary comes to me; speaking words of wisdom

Let it be….

- The Beatles – “

I was always the person whom took the extra precaution and step to care for others; only difference is that we all come to a points.. a point of failure- a point where we get disappointed; a point where we give up and ppl just pop up and your door step and say “Hey whats with the emo ? “

when i revisit most of my post i come to realize that people dont really need your “guidance” or ya “advise”. They seem to function fine without you around. For all those folk i tried to intevene and help (kaypo) i bid my farewell and would like to apologize for being a nossy douchebag. Rest assure i wont cross your line of the ones alike besides, you guys seems to be OK being “helpless”. Sorry

1 for the ungrateful bastards….

Children, kids, toddlers, cutie pie and baby pandas

And loads more names that I can figure out in this genre. Well I like kids, I think more than that I simply love and adore kids (no am not a paedophile !). Back in my teenage years I was the big bro or shall I say Baby sitter whenever there is a huge function which involves the entire family tree. Like weddings, anniversaries, engagements, house warmings (man I missed those ) and so on and so forth.

But ever since there were reported cases of a missing kids who were being molested, sexually assaulted, tortured ; who ended up in travel bags on a pavement; who is to blame for all this!! It gets even disturbing to know that they got molested even after they are dead !!!

Ever since this news hit the stands I wasn`t peace at heart…

That girl who ended up in a travel bag wasn’t the only missing child; there we a lot more reported missing L

I can no longer wave to the kids whom I encounter randomly at a mall nor can I just give a wink to a lil baby girl like ANYWHERE.. because the parents like give u a very mean LOOK   @.@ No more stopping for a while asking them “how ya doin” and waving goodbyes

I feel really sick to my stomach knowing such malevolent acts actually took place and innocent kids were murdered.

Damn that mother*U&^% that killed that kid and all the alike &&^%$#@ !!!

1 for all the lil prince and princesses of the world, LOL

(how la my life ever gonna be the same : P – I missed all those pep talks I have wit random lil “monsters” )

Edit : wait i just realized, while i was in Singapore there were a lot of kid around LOL. all merrylu moving about their own business traveling alone and all in MRTs and Buses. It really was a peaceful place come to think of it. but yea i Love Malaysia just to much

Have you ever wondered why people are just simply sour or happy ? Or how they always always always can put a smile and be all non chalant no matter what they are going through ??

Some people call it :

being patient

he`s cool

macho!

and all sorts of nonsense. but the actual fact is ; that is how we all function. No matter how things work, we “seem” to be working accordingly to it. Some seem to sync and other sink ahahah ever wondered why…? Its what i call natural affinity ! Some are meant to do it and other just aren’t -its that simple. Now where am i going with all this .. ? well its how we all can feel “right”

I believe we all can feel right just by following our natural guts, which mean we need to leave “ego” at the doorstep and come a clean YOU.

“but how ? ” you ask, well its pretty simple, all human beings are made with a built in GPS system for “gut feelings” just follow that ! and  if you`r telling me that`s not installed then that’s bullshit in my opinion= AHAHHA !

so fuel your passion and follow your gut instinct it`ll never fail you..good luck

here`s a hint why this post serves both good and eeewwilll ~~~!!

because Adolf Hitler followed  his gut feelings ….